Portrait of a Marriage
by E. Beatrice
Summary: A collection of shorts looking into what might have happened if Yuna and Cagalli's marriage had gone through. Hints of Athrun/Cagalli. Written for 12fics on livejournal.
1. Wedding Reception

Champagne buckets, filled to the brim with water and ice, are hurried from the kitchens to demanding reception guests. It's a hot day, too hot for a wedding –especially a wedding too sober to be enjoyed without a little help. Merriment is put on and fake smiles are hidden beneath wide-brimmed hats. The groom drinks too much. The bride sulks.

Cagalli sits next to Yuna, the reluctant queen of the banquet. She makes little attempts to smile, socialize or be pleasant. A new, gaudy wedding band adorns her ring finger. Yuna sends her glacial glances as he sips his scotch and chugs his champagne. She knows what he's thinking –she should at least pretend to be happy. Newlywed, she already knows his thoughts. But why play-act euphoria at this point in the day? The public has gone home and the journalists have been banished. Cagalli has followed through with this fiasco of a marriage; Yuna has won.

Wedding guests approach her with half-hearted congratulations and searching, cynical eyes. They know love hasn't made this match and would like to know what has.

"We're so happy for you," says guest after guest, "we were hardly expecting you too to get married so soon." _Why?_ Is the question they're all yearning to ask, _we weren't ever expecting you to actually go through with it all. _They laugh as if they're old chums and this wedding is one big inside joke. As if they've been waiting years to see this will-they-or-won't-they couple tie the knot. Theatrics, but what else can one ask for at a cheerless political wedding?

Fanning themselves with paper menus, Cagalli and Yuna accept their wanting words, wanting nothing more than for the day to be over. As the reception line finally begins to dwindle, there's a cheer and, not for the first time, a request for the happy couple to kiss. An hour ago, Cagalli might have flinched, but it's remarkable how fast she has grown accustomed to kissing her new husband. Turning to Yuna, she offers him a frigid smile and serves up a kiss full of ice.


	2. Wedding Night

That night, the city celebrates. Music, dancing and a happy drunkenness transform the usually tense downtown streets of the capitol into an evening playground, free from the stress of an ever-looming war. Far away from the revelry is the Seiran estate. It is an imposing mansion, neatly tucked into the city's most reputable neighbourhood. A neighbourhood where most lights are turned off early - and those that aren't have a story to tell.

In his bedroom, Yuna pours his new wife a glass of scotch: "This will calm your nerves," he says. He pours himself a glass too. He's starting to feel the after-effects of the day's heavy drinking and would like to ward them off for as long as possible.

"Is that what you've been doing all day," Cagalli asks, "calming your nerves?" She's stalling. She reminds Yuna of a sullen teenager.

"This isn't going to put me to sleep, if that's what you're hoping for," says Yuna with a swish of his glass, "because I don't plan on going to sleep," the ice crashes into the glass, "until we finish what we've started." Cagalli sits up straighter. Yuna tries not to laugh. Her attempts to avoid sleeping with him are predictably quaint.

Unfortunately, he can't have her go crying off to the annulment office with a non-consummation waiver in hand.

Besides, Cagalli is attractive enough. Yuna can't say he hasn't thought about doing this before. And it would be nice to see her coordinator boyfriend's face after the fact.

Yuna approaches Cagalli, brushes a stray hair away from her face and plants a kiss on her forehead.

"There, there," he says, "it won't be so bad –you might even enjoy it," he puts one arm around her frail shoulders and allows his other hand to pat her back, bringing her into a close embrace. He can feel her giving in. She's tired and upset. She's easily malleable at times like these. "Your father would have wanted us to be happy," he adds. A bit much, but it works.

Slowly, he undresses her and then makes love to her. He runs his fingers through her hair. He savours the moment. Cagalli avoids looking at him.

When it's over, Cagalli rolls over to the edge of the bed. She sniffles so quietly it's as if she has a cold. She's staring at her ring finger thinking not of her new wedding band, Yuna realises, but the old piece of junk she used to wear.

"Cagalli," he says, "you're not still delusional enough to believe in love, are you?"

"Yes," she replies.

Yuna says nothing, but wonders how long her belief will last.


	3. The Lover

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor the universe they interact in. **

* * *

The morning after, Cagalli wakes up and has a shower. When she leaves the bathroom, tumble-dried and fully dressed, Yuna has left their shared bedroom. She orders a coffee. For a moment, everything seems remarkably normal –unchanged, even. Staring out the window, she wonders if it was all just a bad dream.

Then, Yuna waltzes back into the room

"That was quite a long shower you took, Cagalli," he says, with a wicked grin, "was it cold, too?" She glares at him, but he doesn't pay her any notice. In the morning light, Yuna is triumphant. Cocky and glowing from last night's events.

Brushing off his jibe, she says: "I should get going," her briefcase in hand, her mind set on work. He grabs a hold of her arm, stops her as she charges.

"We should go in together," he says.

* * *

There are more moments, throughout the day, that are almost normal. The long meetings, the ample paperwork –they haven't changed. But there are other things –lunch, spent with Yuna, congratulations from colleagues- that remind her just how different things really are. Officially, she is still Representative Attha, but the words _Mrs. Seiran _reach her ears often enough for Cagalli to know that her old name is just that –old, and not of much use.

Trying not to think too much about anything, Cagalli allows the day to pass, waiting. Yuna careens her from place to place, happy to show off his new wife. She wonders when he will tire of it all. She hopes it will be soon. They are about to leave for the day, when she's told of ZAFT airship rapidly approaching Orb territory.

"The pilot claims to be Alex Dino," a solider tells her, "but that ID is no longer valid, Representative," there's an earnest look to his face –a look Cagalli used to have.

"Let him land," she tells the boy, "then have him come to my office."

She has been waiting for this.

* * *

When Athrun marches into her office, his escort trailing behind in a huff, Cagalli doesn't run to him, though she desperately wants to. She dismisses the escort quickly and walks over to him. Athrun, flustered and angry is standing before her. She's missed him.

"Cagalli, what's going on?" he asks, "since when is Orb part of the Earth Alliance?" From the way he asks his question, angry, but not hurt, she can tell that he doesn't know the worst of it yet.

"Athrun," she says, "there's something I need to tell you." Her voice trembles, just a little. Athrun's eyes are full of worry.

Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. Yuna invites himself in; smug as he was this morning.

"Alex, what a surprise!" he says, his eyes scanning the room. He takes in Athrun and Cagalli's closeness; his wife's glare, her lover's suspicion.

"Yuna, go away," snaps Cagalli as he puts his arm around her.

"Have you told Alex _our news_?" asks Yuna. He squeezes her a little too tightly. From the look of shock on his face, Cagalli can see that Athrun's already understood. There's no need for Yuna to continue talking. He does anyways, "we've gotten married."

The words linger in the room uneasily, echoing. Cagalli looks to Yuna, smiling gleefully, and then to Athrun, bewildered and hurt. She feels tears welling up in her still-raw eyes.

"You wouldn't," says Athrun, quietly, almost calmly. When she doesn't answer, he leaves the room.

* * *

It doesn't take long for Cagalli to go chasing after him. Yuna doesn't try to stop her. Athrun is in the lobby of the parliamentary building, attempting to get a car that will bring him back to Morgenroete, where his airship is docked. The hall is nearly empty though, and he's not having much luck.

"Athrun!" Cagalli calls when she finds him. He tries to ignore her, but as she nearly crashes into him, he can't.

"What do you want, Cagalli?" he asks derisively. Cagalli doesn't answer. Instead, she seizes him by the arm and drags him to a secluded corner and kisses him.

To her surprise, Athrun kisses back, but it's not soft or loving. It's a cold, angry kiss filled with lust. They've never experienced anything like this before; their desire has never been so raw, so full of need. Their lips crash into each other, their hands grab and feel. Cagalli forgets about everything else around her, and in this moment, she wants this and only this. She wants to touch Athrun, to consume him. She wants to lose herself to this lust welling up inside of her.

Athrun has other ideas. He pushes away from her and turns to leave.

"I can't do this with you," he says, "I can't. I can't forgive you for this." His voice is trembling, clogged with emotions. Cagalli is desperate, she reaches out for him, clutches his coat.

"Where will you go?" she asks, her voice small.

"ZAFT," he says.

Cagalli lets go. _Zaft_. He said he would return to her. Instead, he has chosen to fight for an enemy country. She does not feel betrayed –she has no right to feel betrayed- but she does feel hurt, as if she has been forgotten, left behind.

"I should get going," Athrun finally says, looking at watch he doesn't have –an old habit of his.

She watches him go, his stiff back turned towards her.

* * *

Later, as she and Yuna ride to the Seiran estate together, she is thankful for his incessant chattering. It keeps her from dwelling on unpleasant things.


	4. A Look Back

**I do not own these characters, nor the universe they interact in. **

* * *

Yuna is frantic. He stands on a street curb as Cagalli attempts to hail a taxi.

"You're being ridiculous," he says for the fifteenth time. "You can't go to Heliopolis."

Cagalli glares at him. She overheard a rumour a month ago and has been chattering on about Morgenroete building illicit weapons ever since.

"I have to see for myself," she replies defiantly.

Yuna tries to reason with her: "Cagalli, you should stop fretting about these weapons –they probably don't even exist," he says. He can tell from the look on her face that those were exactly the wrong words to use.

"Yuna, don't you see? If it turns out that Orb is building weapons for the Earth Alliance, it'll mean that we've gone against our core values as a nation!" she exclaims, "It'll mean that my father lied to me," she says quietly, "to the nation," she corrects herself.

So this is about her father? Yuna's not surprised. He's known Cagalli since childhood; she's grown up trying to impress her father. When that hasn't worked, she's rebelled. Yuna was like that too, once.

A taxi arrives. Cagalli opens the door. Yuna puts a hand on her shoulder.

"Cagalli, stop," he pleads. He can't have her running off on his watch. He's her fiancé after all -they've grown up together, honorary siblings in a world of political parents- he'll be humiliated if she makes a break for it now. Violently, she frees herself from his grip.

"Don't try to stop me," she snaps, "if you do, I swear, I'll punch you so hard you'll be eating soup for a week."

Yuna backs down; her threat isn't idle. Cagalli gets into the car, gives the taxi driver instructions and rolls down the window.

"Don't worry about me," she says, "I'll be fine."

It seems ill-timed for Yuna to tell her that she's not the one he's worried about.

* * *

Soon after, Cagalli is found out and Kisaka is dispatched to the airport to retrieve the wayward Attha heir. While they wait to hear back from him, Lord Uzumi asks to speak with Yuna.

Yuna has never liked Lord Uzumi. He has never been able to charm him, as he has the other ministers. Uzumi has always been too busy admiring his own daughter's recklessness to notice Yuna's careful flattery.

Reluctantly, Yuna relates the details of Cagalli's escape to the Chief Representative. Uzumi listens carefully, his expression stern. He is trying very hard to show only his disappointment with Yuna, instead of his worry for his runaway daughter.

"Well," he says, "this is hardly your fault. We all know that when Cagalli puts her mind to something, most people are powerless to stop her."

_Most people? _ Yuna registers the slight. He resents it, but he knows better than to pick a fight with the Lion of Orb.

Kisaka calls and his report causes Lord Uzumi to frown. He orders her bodyguard to catch the next shuttle to Heliopolis and hangs up with a curt goodbye. Then, he turns his eyes to the young man sitting in front of him.

"It would seem that Cagalli is currently heading towards Heliopolis to look for her weapons," he says. "I trust that once she's returned to Orb, you won't let this sort of situation ever happen again."

"I won't, sir," says Yuna, and he intends to keep his word. From now on, he intends to do whatever it takes to keep Cagalli in line.


	5. Courage

**With school finally starting up, I probably won't be able to update as often as I have been. But interesting feedback might just cause me to choose fanfic over education...**

******I do not own these characters, nor the universe they interact in. **

* * *

Time passes, and soon the first days after the wedding turn into the first weeks of married life. Cagalli drifts through them, her head down, her protests kept to herself. She busies herself in work, bringing much of it home with her. She ignores Yuna as best she can.

The other representatives observe her sorry state and take pity on her. They take her to business lunches at respectable restaurants and bring her cups of tea. Once, she was their princess, a precocious kid running around the halls of parliament whom they could spoil with candy and tales of days past. Now she carries Orb on her frail shoulders, grasping at more power than she knows what to do with. Times have changed and the representatives are confused. Like all politicians with an eye for power, they want to neutralize the new Representative Attha so that they can rule from the shadows. Yet, they also want to look after her, a little girl grown up too soon.

Cagalli accepts their offerings, but finds little comfort in them. She seeks out the companionship of her friends –Kira, Lacus, Andrew, Murrue - only to find they've left Orb. They've left her a letter, but with Athrun's anger and condemnation fresh in her mind, she can't bring herself to open it.

Yuna and Cagalli have been married a month when the Atlantic Federation asks that Orb deploy troops to the Mediterranean front. It is an order, not a request.

The representatives debate over who should lead the operation for some time. Yuna volunteers, gallant and vain. Something in Cagalli shatters.

"Don't be ridiculous, Yuna," she says, her voice confident, "you don't have any military experience. If we're going to send a representative onto the battlefield, I should be the one to go." The room is quiet. Yuna, Unato, the other representatives all of them eye her with shock.

Cagalli feels a spark of something lighting up inside her, something her father would have called foolhardiness. Something she would have told him was courage.

Composing himself, Yuna clears his throat. His eyes glitter mischievously as he plays his ace.

"And how could we trust you to properly lead our troops when reports clearly state that the Archangel will be in the line of fire?" he retorts, walking towards her shaking frame, "you should your mail more often, my dear," he whispers maliciously.

* * *

That evening, Cagalli tears open her letter. In it, there is no mention of the Archangel, no mention of battlefields. In it, she finds only love. More love than she deserves.

_We're so worried about you. Please, take care of yourself. You are in our thoughts. _

She sheds her tears silently.

* * *

Yuna was bluffing. He out-manoeuvred her and now he will lead Orb's troops into battle, dragging them into war with only a flimsy shield of strategy games and egotism.

Cagalli should be wretched –and she is. Her heart is full of fear for the soldiers she won't be able to protect. But she is also hopeful. The spark she felt earlier today hasn't diminished –even hours later.

She was courageous once. Perhaps she can be again.


	6. Yuna in the Aftermath

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor the universe they interact in. **

******Finals seems to have encouraged my creativity. Please enjoy the fruits of my procrastination. **

* * *

Yuna returns from war with a handful of weary soldiers in tow. He sneaks into the country quietly, while his soldiers are personally welcomed home by his wife. It is a sober event, but not so sober as to go untelevised. Yuna watches, along with Orb, as Cagalli commends the soldiers' bravery and expresses remorse for their losses.

"Having been on the front lines myself," she begins, and with just this bit of a sentence, Yuna is certain that his wife blames him for Orb's defeat, "I know that the bonds you make during wartime are unlike any others," she says, her eyes pointed squarely at the camera, "and that, when you go home, the deaths of your comrades may seem empty, and without purpose."

She pauses, letting the onlookers properly absorb her words, her coded disgust for this war she agreed to. The camera pans over the group of soldiers, huddled in a mass on the docks on Onogoro. They stare up at their young leader with awe and respect.

"I have no words, no way, to ease your loss. Nor will I try to," she continues, "But I will say this, your comrades died in the service of Orb, just as you fought valiantly for Orb. For that, I, and all the citizens of our nation, will forever be honoured and humbled."

Nestled deep within his study, Yuna pours himself a glass of scotch. He glances at Cagalli as she wraps up her speech. She stands proudly; warm with sincerity. Her eyes shine brighter than the day's sharp sun.

* * *

After her speech, Cagalli works late into the night. Yuna stays awake as the hours pass by. He claims to be catching up on paperwork, but he does so half-heartedly. It is but an excuse, to convince everyone, himself included, that he is not waiting for his wife to come home. He is skimming through a dull report on trade when he recognizes her mannish tread climbing wearily up the nearby stairs. His study door open, he strenuously focuses his gaze on the document in his hands.

Cagalli is slow-moving and Yuna's left eye twitches slightly as the words below him begin to make less sense. Finally, she arrives before his office.

"I see _you _made it home in one piece," she jeers. She wears the same representative's uniform and overwhelming fatigue she wore when they parted. Even in familiar attire, she seems changed. Her shoulders, once hunched by her ears and full of tension, stand confidently in place, towering over her body. Her lips, previously hidden behind her small white teeth, now sit safely on her face, untouched.

"You could at least _try_ to show some enthusiasm, my dear," taunts Yuna.

She snaps, her anger raw and visceral. "You could have at least tried to save our soldiers!"

Surprised by her assertiveness, he stutters, scrambling to find the right words to disarm her: "I did everything I could, I..."

Cagalli's slap is powerful. Yuna stumbles backwards, thankful that she chose not to punch him.

"You did nothing!" she bellows, "nothing but play power games and cause suffering for your own amusement!" Her voice trembles, but it is also strong.


End file.
